Here, at the end of all things...

My Christmas shopping is a very simple routine. Starting in November, I start to pick up little things that I know would make good presents for family. Sometimes I find something awesome last minute so I can add the little things to it to make a super-gift. December is when I start looking for friend presents because that's when they're around and I can pick up little hints about what they like (or get them to pick stuff out). Last week before Christmas is when I pick out presents for those people who I didn't buy stuff for but showed up with stuff for me. Those "hey, I'm going to drop by on the weekend to give you your present." people who warn you with enough time so I don't feel like an ass when they just show up and I have nothing.

That's about it. I even have budgets made up for each person but I tend to be flexible and if one person didn't use all their budget it gets moved on to another person. :P

You ever have those days when you want to punch someone in the face? And then after a couple hours you've calmed down to such a degree that you just couldn't give a shit? I mean, DAMN! I totally ignored my half of the store for an hour and ate brownies instead. We didn't have a single customer but I still ignored it. I is such a rebel :B

I had forgotten the date when the radio flicked off at 11am and Flanders Fields started. Automatically I recited it with the guy on the radio as I chopped up some veggies and put everything down when the silence started. In school it was always one of those things you did and then went back to math or whatever but staring down at my half-cut carrots I started to well up a bit. Maybe because of the recently lost veterans we should remember today, or maybe because of the fear of losing more. But I was standing and listening to my boss chop away and talk and when she yelled "hey, what's wrong with the radio?" I let a couple tears fall.

And then that song came on and that too I remembered from school and hummed along. And then they played "hero" by Enrique Iglesias and my mind was full of images of wartime dance halls and tearful last kisses and I started getting misty eyed again.

I've never really been affected by Remembrance Day, but I suppose it's a bit closer to home now.
<3<3<3

20% off at the mall today and I still couldn't find as single thing to buy. I went in any store that caught my eye but walked out after seeing scene/hipster fashions and shirts that screamed "high school!!". Didn't bother going into the fancier stores because I don't wear nice business clothes or blouses or anything of that sort...

I think I'm going to move someplace warm and spend the rest of my life in tank tops. Easy and practical.

Sure it's instant. There are some things that take time to develop though. You might have interests in common, friends or something that draws you together and makes you compatible, but it might take years before you realize their financial maturity, career goals, and neat-freak-ness make you melt with girly adoration... <3 <3 <3

and yes I've given second chances, and have fallen for the "why you" person before.

Had the fastest onset of a "panic attack" ever. Went to bed at 1, was asleep immediately, and almost at 1:30 exactly I was wide awake, sat straight up and was burning-hot/shivering, jittery/exhausted, nauseous, and confused. Deeeeelightful.

Went for a walk, had a short back rub, and am now in the 30 min to 1 hour "cool-down" period where I'm fine so long as I'm not lying down. Then I can prop up my pillows and doze off into a nice and exhausted sleep.

I hate my life sometimes....

Re-watched Dracula: 2000. Was prepared for shitty movie (wasn't disappointed) but realized shortly into it. HOLY SHIT IT'S GERARD BUTLER! Cutesy, ickle, young, scrawny Gerard with Josh Groban hair! EEEEEE!

I had a bit of a fan-girly spasm

I brought my car in to get it's brakes "finished" but now they're all spongy and I have to go in again tomorrow to get them fixed agaaaaain. Why can't people leave things that aren't broken alone?

And I hate when things like this happen because now I'm really upset and snappy and depressed. I hate when things don't go my way and I end up having to rearrange my schedule.

I hate when people seem sick but won't do anything about it. Especially if those people are far away and I can't force them to do anything. night sweats and trouble breathing isn't normal! GO TO THE DOCTOR! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Considering that flu shot since I work full time this year. A lot of possible exposure. I can't afford to be sick! I hope I can just get it at the doctor.

D00000D!

What a crazy week at work! I have to have at least 40 hours. Not really a lot but I usually only get 30. And now it's a lovely long weekend and I wake up to wind and rain. Nice...


So, I'm totally excited to make corn meal muffins this afternoon. Does that make me weird?

I work with the most immature brat in the world. After a couple days of awkward first-day quietness he erupted into a vile-mouthed, lazy, immature, disobedient, smart-ass. He doesn't do what I tell him to, he makes disgusting jokes, he refers to me with repulsive names ("sexy lips"? what the fuck?) and puts himself in the way when you're trying to get something important done. And he answers his phone while serving customers. I swear to GOD I will smack him one of these days.

</rant>

I spent the weekend at the lake doing yardwork. It was OMFGFUUUUUN! I got dirty and tanned and Steph fussed about sunscreen and dinner and made me lunch and gave me gloves and earplugs because she was worried and we went to the market and bonded and....

I MISS HAVING A MOMMY! WAAAAAAAAH! *tear*

You know what pisses me off? socks on the floor. I can understand taking off a sweater and hanging it on a chair or something but just throwing socks onto the floor? It's like littering! I swear I'm just going to start throwing these things away. I find them under my couch, under the tables, behind desks. AAARGH!

In other news I have design work again. Yaay!

In OTHER, other news I had the best weekend of my life last weekend. It was 99% perfect. I'm still happy from it.

Oh yeah, and the girl I work with wants to try to go back to school NEXT WEEK instead of in January when she originally planned. Let's see how THIS fucks up the workplace!

This made me feel strangely comforted about something I didn't fear in the first place. I salute you, sir.

Why is it that when I get rid of one annoyance I just get another one? I get rid of the noisy teenager, I get construction. That ends and I get jumpy kids. Then, suddenly, there's a constant fan or something making my room sound like a furnace. Why? Did I do something wrong in the past and now I'm not allowed to sleep at night?

I know I shouldn't, REALLY shouldn't, but there was an add at the gym and I had to look online and then I kept looking and...

oh god, it's beautiful

I'm going to be heading to the recruitment office wednesday to see what kind of military trades I could do. Maybe there's something without too much school, or something they can help me go to school to do. I still feel bad about turning my back on my degree, but if it can get me a career, I'll brave college again.

The course id like to take (carpentry) doesn't start until next summer so I'd have a lot of time to make money before school, but if there's a way to get the military to pay for it then I'd be all for that. and I can use my 3D knowledge and photoshop skill for carpentry. I can make models to show people products. At least I can feel like I'm making some use of my education. :P

I had such an amazing week off! Spent a lot of time outside doing yardwork with Tyler, shopped, ate out, and drove around in the coolest truck listening to amazing music. I really wish I wasn't going to back work monday, or at least not back to my current work.

Passing out resumes didn't go so well, but there's still a chance someone might call me. None of them were very positive, though. I'm not sure how long I should wait before changing the career plans, or even if I should. Carpentry sounds pretty interesting but I don't know if I'd get work doing that either. The military is instant full-time work but I'd feel bad getting all this education and then just going military. However, the money is amazing. I hate to seem shallow but money is everything right now. I want to feel "established" in life: career/house/car.

but aside from all that, the week was great. Can't wait for the long Labourday Weekend to do some more yardwork and maybe go to Moxie's again. ;)

What? What is this shit?! Who came up with this question. Wouldn't it have been easier to say "Hey! If you had your own baseball team, who would you have on it?"? Why the whole Twilight reference bullshit? WHY?!

I'm all for shameless plugs but this is just ridiculous.